The Look and how I got the name "Chopsticks"

One of the most important skills to have when going out without a group (A.K.A. by yourself [as I so often do]) is the ability to give the look. What is the look? It is the glance that you give to a complete stranger at a club to let them know you need rescuing. Many a time I have been dancing at Hometown Dance Club and found myself essentially stuck dancing with someone who I do not want to dance with, let alone talk to, it is times like these where having the look perfected is paramount.

There are many looks; there’s the “you’re cute, let’s dance” flirty look, the “sexy eyes” (I’d like to get physical with you) look, the “you’re a good dancer” (care to dance with me?) look, the “you’re a good dancer” (it’s fun watching you do your thing) look, the “you look like someone nice” (lets talk outside) look, the “you don’t have a prayer” (forget about it) look, “the leave me the fuck alone” look, the “I will hurt you if you don’t leave me the fuck alone” (consider this a warning) look, the “I’m sorry I’m stuck over here” (sincerely apologetic) look, the “I’m sorry, I’m stuck over here” (I am glad I am not over there) look, the shocked “oh, you’re here” (sometimes pleasantly surprised and sometimes quite annoyed) look, and many other looks… however the most important look to have in your “look” repertoire is, hands down, the look. When done correctly the look can be given to anyone, friend, acquaintance, stranger, ex, etc., and they will understand, and they will help you, as instantly as is possible. The look is also reciprocal, if you receive it, better step in, it is only fair after all, others are expected to save you when you give it, and thus you have to be willing to save them when they give it. It is an unspoken well known Dance Club rule

It only took me one night of pulling the “I have to go to the bathroom” and then sneaking out (after using the bathroom) trick before I had the look perfected. It took me about 3 more nights to figure out how to judge who to give the look to, to avoid having to employ it again within 20 minutes (or seconds).

I got the name “Chopsticks” by using the look. Halfway through an evening (night) at Hometown Dance Cub I had accumulated a rather large number of guys that wished to keep dancing with me; I had no desire to dance (or talk, or be in any way associated with) with any of them. While 3-5 of them were arguing over whose dance partner I was, I gave the room a quick scan and selected my newest target for the look – he responded quickly and effectively. We danced until Hometown Dance Club closed and as I was enjoying his company, I accepted his offer to go to his friend + friend’s BF’s house (it was also close to my house which didn’t hurt). Once there the four of us shared some champagne and the boy who I had accompanied and I were left alone downstairs. We talked for several hours before falling asleep on the couch. The next morning I woke up, left, and walked home.

At several points during the night I asked him if he knew my name… he never answered correctly (by “correctly” I mean with an affirmative and with my name) this never really bothered me, but it embarrassed him. The entire time we were at Hometown dance club he had called me “Chopsticks” because I had my hair up in a bun with chopsticks holding it up.

I have run into him several times since. I never feel awkward with our fun sarcastic little exchanges, so we chat for a bit… and then I ask him if he knows my name… and he gets defensive and embarrassed, he can never remember it. He is the only person in real life who calls me “Chopsticks”; however I wear chopsticks in my hair frequently, and think the name (and the style) is kind of cute. So I took it and made it my own. Now you know the story behind the name of my blog.

Tuesday Trivia: The Echidna

I have a migraine and therefore and not up to being clever or witty or what have you so here is some information about an animal I find fascinating, the echidna.

The Echidna (also known as the spiny anteater) is one of two monotremes (egg-laying mammals) in the world (the other being the platypus). They live in Australia and New Guinea. Echidna’s sizes range from 14 to 21 inches from snout tip to tail end, with 2.75 to 3 inches in snout length.

Echidnas eat termites, ants, and other bugs using their snouts and their very long (sticky) tongues. They have no teeth, so they have to crush their food between the bottoms of their tongues and the bottoms of their mouths. They live in hollow logs, holes, burrows, under bushes, and amongst the rocks.

If you would like to know more I suggest Google-ing “echidna” or if you are too lazy to do that but not too lazy to click on a link here, checking out Echidna Central.

Monday Miscellany (I can't always be clever and/or creative)

I am sleepy and don't feel to well (physically - am I getting sick again? I hope not.) So I decided it was time for a quiz. Oh yes, you heard me, a quiz. So here are my results:

What's your personality like?

Introvert/Unique You have something that makes you alluringly beautiful, but there's also a vibe that tells people to stay away. You like your privacy and expect others to respect it also, a thing that could sometimes make you look quite aggressive. Unlike other people, you learned to deal with loneliness, by necessity or plain desire to do so. You have wounds though, that might not be seen by others, but that you feel at the most unusual of times. Take this quiz

I have also been trying to figure out the solution to the logic-type puzzle "Petals Around the Rose" for multiple days now. I spent over 12 hours on it and just couldn't get it. I was going insane so LB looked at it and got it pretty quickly. You, dear readers, should try it and tell me what you think. Did you get it easily or did it take you a while? Or did you not get it at all? Do you think it is ridiculous or clever or neither?

I finally know the solution (no, I will not tell anyone, you can have a friend figure it out or Google it if you have to), but I think it is the most ludicrous thing ever. I hate this puzzle. ARGH. It is pointless. Do I only think this because I couldn’t figure it out? I doubt it, but it is possible.

JFSB's Co-Worker

I went to a pre-New Years party at JFSB’s house. At the liveliest point in the party there were maybe 20 people there. I think there were more like 10 people there most of the night. JFSB made “Jungle Juice” (which I had never had) and I felt obligated to drink some. Wow, that stuff is strong.

At some point during the night RBNB text messages me, I text him back, then SLN and HSM take my phone and text message back and forth with RBNB without my (or his) knowledge. So he thinks he is talking to me the whole time, and I have no idea what is said between any of them. I get my phone back and get a one word text from RBNB “whore”. I was very upset by this (even though I know it is not true) so I drank some more (I know, bad reason to drink, but I was already tipsy my logic wasn’t very good).

By the time people start leaving I am very drunk and semi-asleep on the upstairs couch. JFSB and some of his friends (2 other females and 2 other males, none of them couples) decide to watch a movie downstairs, so they rouse me and get me to go with them. We watch part of the movie before one of the guys stumbles off to the bathroom and gets sick. Then I semi-fall asleep again while everyone else works on getting the sick guy taken care of.

Around 3am I wake up freezing. There is a fireplace upstairs so I decide to go up there to sit in front of the fire and get warm. JFSB’s co-worker apparently has the same idea, so we sit in front of the (pretty much dead) fire and talk for about an hour. Then JFSB’s co-worker explains to me that I should go back down to the couch downstairs to sleep and he should stay upstairs so that JFSB doesn’t think there is anything going on. Whatever, I don’t care; nothing is going on between me and any of the other people there (besides conversation). So I find a blanket and go back downstairs where I try to sleep (and am semi-successful) for the rest of the night.

The next morning I call my parents and they give me and my car a ride home (I was too hung-over to want to drive). JFSB calls me later in the day and he gives me his co-workers phone number. I call the co-worker and we talk about getting together to do something, but I wake up sick the next day so it never happens. It is no big deal to me, but I figure I will never hear from the co-worker again.

I got a text-message from the co-worker tonight (about a month later). He said he saw me at the gym and that I looked good but too busy to talk. He also said “you never got to hang out at my new house” I texted him back that I am free tonight and that he should call if he wants to do something.

Update: He called, he just got back from the gym and needs to shower but says he'll call back in about an hour.

Next day update: He did call back, around 1am, I didn't answer. He is now annoyed because I did not respond to his "booty call"; Heh, too bad for him.

Shy Boy

A while ago I went to a party at PIPF’s house. This party consisted mostly of drinking and live music (drums and keyboard) and talking to many people who I had not seen since middle school (and who I seriously doubt are old enough to be legally drinking).

At some point during the evening I got tired of standing in my heels and decided to sit in the only available spot on the couch. I ended up smooshed between PIPF’s roommate and a boy I will call “Shy Boy”. I was a bit tipsy and a bit bored so I started talking to Shy Boy. I found out that he is 20, a junior at Hometown University, and was the DD for a bunch of his friends who are there. He was also kind of cute so when he asked for my number I gave it to him.

PIPF was annoyed with me when he left saying I couldn’t just do that to boys. Pfft, I didn’t do anything, or so I thought. She said he was wrapped around my little finger.

He called me the next day, I answered, he said he had enjoyed talking to me and that we should do something. I agreed to make plans and he said he’d call later that week when I wasn’t at work (this was all rather awkward as I was in a male co-worker’s car and we were driving back to my car after having just had dinner together). Shy Boy called the next day while I was working – I didn’t answer my phone, so he left a message saying he’d call again later. The next day he called as I was scraping my windshield (with a credit card – I am always so prepared) after work. I answered and we arranged to go ice-skating on Thursday at 9pm.

Thursday comes around; I get off of work and am again scraping the ice off of my windshield when Shy Boy calls, he informs me that he has hurt his leg so we should go to a movie insteadof ice-skating. I tell him to choose a movie and that I will call him when I get home. I call him, he tells me he wants to see the new Bond movie and we arrange to meet at the theatre.

We meet (he was 20 minutes late), he pays, and we go in and sit down. He says a total of about 5 words to me in the half-hour before the movie starts. We watch the movie (I found it entertaining, he did not) and we determine that we are both walking the same direction (he to his car me to my house) During the 5 block walk I get him to tell me he is going home for the holidays, and he says he will call me when he gets back. I wish him Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and figure that is that. I got to see a rather enjoyable movie for free, and I determined that he and I have nothing to talk about.

School has been back in session for about 10 days. Shy Boy has called me 5 of those 10 days… I finally called him back this afternoon because he invited me to a "game night" which sounded fun; I thought maybe a second chance was in order. He called again while I was out seeing ‘Children of Men’ (by myself) my phone was off so he left a message. He is going to a Basketball game “with the boys” he wants me to call him or stop by around 9 or 10. I give up. Conversations with Shy Boy are like pulling teeth, and I am tired of plans changing all the time. I am not calling him back, and I am definitely not “stopping by” his place later tonight.

100 Things About Me

1. I dropped out of high school when I was barely 15.
2. I was a junior – but only because I skipped sophomore year.
3. The high school called my parents to tell them I could graduate early when I was already in university, and had already taken my GED.
   
4. My parents will have been married for 25 years in May.
5. I met XFL when I was 15, he was 19.
6. We first "met" online, chatting on AIM.
7. I graduated from university when I was 20.
8. I still don’t know what I am going to do with my degree.
9. I hated the town I went to university in.
10. I only chose the university I went to because XFL was there.
11. I applied online at 3am.
12. I hate cars, more specifically I hate driving.
13. This is not because I am a bad driver, I simply don’t like it.
14. I was a ballerina as a child – for somewhere between 7 and 9 years I thought I would be a professional ballerina when I “grew up”.
15. I never went on point.
16. I was arachnophobic until I was bitten by a poisonous spider.
17. I hate the color orange.
18. Pineapple is my favorite fruit.
19. I am a caffeine addict.
20. I never went to prom, I really wanted to go.
21. I am a horrible goldfish owner. I have killed more than 50 goldfish (accidentally) in my life so far.
22. I was never single in university.
23. I am scared of heights.
24. I no longer have an appendix.
25. I have had to get stitches in my left hand 3 times.
26. I should have gotten stitches in my right knee when I was in Kindergarten.
27. I grew an inch last year.
28. I didn’t believe the doctors the first 3 times they told me that I was taller.
29. For the 5 years that I was with XFL I didn’t wear any make-up, he wouldn’t let me.
30. I like the taste of vodka.
31. I love tomatoes and all tomato products.
32. I don’t really like the taste of water.
33. I have never been camping.
34. I have been in 3 car accidents.
35. In 2 of them I was the driver.
36. In 1 of them I was at fault.
37. I have had friends die. It sucks.
38. I still wear a shirt that I bought in 7^th grade.
39. It still fits.
40. I tend to buy “classic” items of clothing and wear them for a long time.
41. I don’t shop often.
42. The only meat I eat is fish.
43. I have only been pulled over once. I got a ticket for excessive exhaust.
44. I have been an insomniac for most of my life.
45. I stayed in university for a term longer than I had to because it was paid for by scholarships and grants.
46. When I was in university I couldn’t wait to be done; now I miss it.
47. I tell my parents everything.
48. They are my best friends.
49. I have a scar from a goose.
50. I would love to go to Italy.
51. I love Rothko’s painting, but only in real life.
52. I hated Rothko’s paintings when I had only seen prints of them.
53. My family is not rich, I am not rich either.
54. We all believe that happiness is far more important than money.
55. I bought my car before I had my license.
56. It is cute but not very practical.
57. My cat looks a lot like the cat my family had when I was little.
58. For a while my dad called her by his name.
59. My mom is allergic to cats.
60. I am a published poet.
61. Drinking milk makes me sick.
62. I am not otherwise lactose intolerant.
63. I hate nori (seaweed), but don’t mind sushi.
64. I think wasabi tastes like really salty play dough.
65. Guinness is usually my beer of choice.
66. I lost my virginity when I was 15.
67. I called my parents and told them, I was scared they would be mad at me.
68. They were not mad at me at all.
69. I have been on lots of dates since breaking up with XFL.
70. I have not been on many second dates.
71. I often wonder what university would have been like if I had been single.
72. I don’t regret anything I have done.
73. I think that regret is an exercise in futility.
74. I learned how to use chopsticks the summer I was 20 out of necessity.
75. I don’t wear shoes very often if I am indoors.
76. I should wear glasses, I usually only wear them when I drive or when I need to read subtitles.
77. I have the same frames with prescription sunglass lenses and prescription clear lenses.
78. This confuses people.
79. I have driven wearing my sunglasses in the dark because I couldn’t find my normal glasses.
80. I smoked cloves for a few months when I was 18, I still crave them when I smell them.
81. Any smoke at all gives me bronchitis.
82. I generally get bronchitis at least 6 times a year.
83. This is not something that makes me happy.
84. I hate being sick.
85. I have walked to the ER more than once (to get treated).
86. I am very impatient.
87. I am very stubborn.
88. I like to wear heels with jeans.
89. I like to wear tennis shoes with dresses.
90. I can be very sarcastic.
91. My hair gets a lot of compliments.
92. I hate text messages, why don’t people just call?
93. I often don’t want to answer my phone.
94. It took me a long time to start believing people when they told me I was pretty.
95. I keep my CDs in alphabetical order.
96. I still buy actual CDs.
97. I also buy records.
98. I don’t have a record player right now.
99. I read over 300 books in first grade, they stopped counting after that.
100. I still love to read.

Chat with XFL; Why leaving can be a good thing.

Recently I had an IM conversation with XFL, it was our first time communicating since Thanksgiving; basically it showed me I was right to leave him and that if anything he has gotten less mature since I left.

His drinking and violence had been getting out of control in the months before I left, he said he’d work on it, he didn’t. I expected talking to him would make me miss him and the town that I left when I left him, but it didn’t. I was glad to be gone; relieved, sad, angry, and grateful that I was no longer part of what he was doing.

Here’s some of that conversation (Edited to remove personally identifying details and a bit of small talk, as well as to improve grammar and spelling.):

XFL: Had a drinking contest with (upstairs neighbor) the other night; don't remember the last bar we went to... don't remember a whole lot after that... totally trashed the house in some kind of _____ (fill in the blank) of destructive energy, knocked over the bookshelf.

XFL: but it's all mostly cleaned up now.

XFL: Oh, I quit smoking.

Chopsticks: Fuck you.

Chopsticks: Although I am not surprised, that is typical behavior on your part.

XFL: Yeah, I realized I was mostly just doing it to piss you off (or at least, since you didn't want me to, I couldn't tell if I really wanted to).

Also, my little brother was disappointed when he found out, which really hurt.

Side note: I wanted him to quit smoking because (as I mentioned in a previous post) being around any cigarette smoke at all gives me bronchitis.

This next part really sums up the essential reason the relationship had to end. He never respected me. He never “gave a fuck” and he probably never will.

XFL: But I am a whole lot happier now than I was, you know what I mean?

Chopsticks: Ummm, no not really, but I am not un-happy about specific things so much. I was un-happy with certain things and I changed them, so now really I think I need to work on my self-confidence, if that makes any sense.

XFL: Yeah – I know what you mean; I need to work on giving a fuck about what anybody else thinks/feels (without specifically deciding to do it).

Lesson learned. People generally don’t change. If you don’t like who they are, or if who they are is destructive to you get out and stay away.

Impatience

Good things come to those who don't wait.

I was at the GAP's website today and saw their spring slogan, it suits my impulsive side, and still somehow it doesn't seem quite right. Isn't patience supposed to be a virtue? I guess not in the retail/marketing world.

Hometown Dance Club

I was given the name "Chopsticks" by a boy at Hometown Dance Club, I will post that story later, but for now here is a little (personal) background on the venue:

There aren’t many clubs/bars/pubs that don’t allow indoor smoking in Hometown. I don’t smoke, and being around smoke tends to give me bronchitis so I rarely go to any of the drinking establishments where indoor smoking is permitted, this leaves me with approximately five venues at which to imbibe. Three of these venues are best suited for groups of friends and/or dates, and of the other two one is often like the former three, but has some dancing some nights; the other is a jam-packed dance club by 11 most nights.

I love dancing, so when I decide I want to go out chances are you will find me at the Hometown Dance Club. I often go by myself, and it is often difficult to convince people that I realy am there to dance, so there will probably be many posts about this place.

There is a definite disadvantage to the smallness of Hometown. Because there is essentially only one place to dance, I see lots of people repeatedly who I would rather not have to see (especially when I am trying to just have drunk random fun/escapades). Some of the people I commonly run into at Hometown Dance Club are XFLHTF (I don’t mind seeing him – he is a pretty good dancer and can save me from overly-clingy newly met dancers, plus there is never any awkwardness and no “funny business” is ever attempted.), JFSB (Can be a bit awkward when he decides to dance with me, or that I need to be walked home – by him.), RBNB, and SBNB. SBNB goes there a lot. He also lives close to me, and has walked me home after Hometown Dance Club has closed before. Lately I have found myself avoiding going out, in part, to avoid seeing him. This has got to stop. This week/weekend I will go to Hometown Dance Club, I will have fun, I won’t get too drunk, and if SBNB is there – I will not be a bitch but I will not go out of my way to talk to him either. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

An old note that makes me smile.

I was not single or even remotely available for even a second of my college (university for all you non-US-people) career.

One day while studying in an indoor art-display-type area I fell asleep. When I woke up I found a note on my stomach. I contemplated calling the number simply to let the note-leaver know that I would have taken him up on his offer had I been single… but I never did. I was happily in a relationship with XFL, but it made me smile so I kept it.

It has been several years since that day, and when I come across the note in my papers, it still makes me smile, so I figured it would make for a good first post. It isn't much, but sometimes the little things are the things that matter. It is always nice to feel desired.